In a time of my life, when nothing really surprised me or nothing really got me rhapsodic. And no, I wasn’t clinically depressed. Rather, I looked back to when I was 18, the joy that was bundled with a new phone, an ecstatic 12 year old riding a new bicycle around the neighborhood or a 4 year old curiously scanning her new baby brother and he peed on me that exact moment, that was a confusing moment. And here I was 29 years old with a little darling in my arms. I was overwhelmed with every emotion there is. I still am, it’s been 18 months rolling on a high !

His coo, the sound of his breathing especially his smell, I was addicted to it. I always put him in his bed for naps afraid I’d never sleep if he was in bed with me. I had a secret onesie tucked under my pillow to smell, just in case he napped longer than usual.

The element of Love is abundant in my stories, the story of the husband and I, stories of my brother or my parents and I. Love to me is central. And it’s the lens through which I see life, in the absence of it everything seems colorless.

Liebe ist nicht alles aber ohne Liebe ist alles nichts.

Citations pending

Last week for the whole week I was a wreck! My little lover had unexpectedly halted his kisses and hugs. I was in denial for 3 days and I burst into tears. My husband got his daily dose but nothing for mumma.

At first I was enraged, you see my love for ‘sef has just one condition, I need an occasional hug and kiss. It’s my fuel. It’s hard to stay angry with such a darling, now I was just sad. One morning I knelt down, seated him on my bed and asked him why he avoided me. Normally he’s very chatty and would respond in his own language, but this time; silence, he even avoided any eye contact. I was shattered. Inescapably, I was on a guilt trip ! But guilty of what?

It ate me up and I revisited the days gone by, our routine, analyzed if/what had changed or my behavior but with nothing out of the ordinary, I needed to research and look it up ! And I trust this book which has an app and website What to expect. It’s been my guide though the pregnancy and even now. I found the exact problem being explained. Toddler’s preference of one parent over the other. And it instantly put me at ease.

Developmental leap ! It’s the Surprise element in my life. From month 4 till date I’m always sitting at the edge of my seat. This developmental leap was Independence in decision making. Typically, this development happens to 2 or 3 year old toddlers who can articulate well but it’s not uncommon to develop this early.

Since hugs and kisses are a prized commodity in this household. It was something I’d definitely notice. Toddlers may be new and innocent but they are intelligent, quick to learn and such keen observers. Looking back a week, this was a well displayed development and orchestrated well too. Admittedly I managed poorly my emotions, he stood strong and didn’t show me any affection until I respected his space this week.

Today, I earned 4 kisses and one really long hug. Tomorrow maybe none. It’s a phase that shall pass but the love lingers on.

Come September the temperature begins to drop, bringing heavy winds and dancing of the browning leaves are a common sight. The gloomy mornings become so annoying to bear. Especially, when my toddler is up and all I want to do is curl up in bed for 5 more minutes.

The fall foliage is magnificent this year. It’s the perfect combination of very chilly mornings, sudden showers, steamy afternoons and rapid temperature drops at sun down.

Although, the town looks pretty in orange, I wholeheartedly miss summer time. There were kids playing on the streets and parks, mums & dads chit chatting on the benches, Ice cream store had queues that never ended, Hot-Air Ballons in the sky and people in colorful cloths. Happy vibes every where you went.

The value of something is truly understood when it’s lost.

I second!

If the Seasons of the year were having a party. Fall would definitely be the party pooper. And here we were in the second week of October and a surprise weekend of splendid weather thrown at us. It was 3 days of summertime and I waited all week for it. Planed the days down to the second.

We started with breakfast at the local baker’s, Café Bäcker Mayer, they have the most delicious apricot marmalade and a warm German breakfast bread (Weckle)

Once we’re all fueled up, we go for a long ride cycling through a hiking trail and we stop at the park; Josef’s got something to look forward to. We head home for Josef’s nap. Once he’s up we get back on the road with our cycles to the Reutlingen city center for some ice cream. Miraval’s Mascarpone with Pistachio is my favorite.

This pistachio ice cream takes me back to my childhood, around Christmas or summer vacation, specifically. That’s when family, uncles and aunts with cousins would visit my grandparents as did I. They’d mostly be visiting from the Middle East, as we mangys would say, Gulf returns. They would never come empty handed. A familiar purple tin of chocolates (Quality street) and enough nuts to give me a tummy ache. A daily portion of pistas was stipulated by my grandma, her eyes did it mostly.

This was just Saturday and Sunday was just as fun. Monday, though we had a vaccination. What a bummer! But thank goodness for books, they keep us entertained. The Lion Inside by Rachel Bright is our recent favorite. I don’t know about the little one but this book keeps me motivated.

We couldn’t bear to be in bed all day with the lovely weather outside, vaccine or not, so we went on a stroll and I came home with a piggie on my back.

We had a wonderfully busy summer. But we missed running around so much. Thank god for this weekend, now we’re content. So long lovely weather until May !

Today, living away from loved ones and friends isn’t as difficult with video calls but it opens up a whole new world of curiosity. What do you do all day? Why don’t you have a job? Are you breastfeeding? Do you always put him in diapers? Those are a few popular ones. I find, it’s impossible to bell all the curious cats, so I just let them stay curious and marinate. Just for fun. But every time I hear, “Jo? So what do you do all day ?” I scratch my head, look at my indoor rocket and wonder, Where do my days disappear?

And I can’t help but think, what a beautiful life ? Wake up (bright & early rarely) after the Suns up and at night I’m out like a light the second my head touches my pillow. So What do we do all day ?

I am a Hausfrau. I’ve always been one ever since I got here and now being a mother keeps me the busiest. Having this little human as my plus one is turning into something fun. A party !

We’ve teeth, emotions and the dance moves; All we need is music.

First we freshen up. Then he will sit on the kitchen counter and watch me make breakfast, our favorite is Oat meal crepes, with potato baaji or honey. From there we have all the books and games to go through, Lunchtime and more games and books. There’s an afternoon nap somewhere around here. As a child all I wanted was to be a grownup, now that I am, it was better to be a child. Being a toddler is so much fun.

Some days the weather is just splendid and we get some Outdoor time. Evenings are such a breeze, we’ve dinner, bath and off to bed. These are the usuals between these usuals we have spontaneous walks and bike rides or play time. I’m not a big fan of TV time so I save it for between dinner and bath for a few minutes.

Among the spontaneous are Whatsapp calls or FaceTime. ‘Sef doesn’t particularly enjoy these call, it’s the phone in general. He see it as his rival, it robs him of the attention he would’ve gotten. Although he’s undecided about these calls, he’s definitely decided on his preference of people that I speak to. The more I speak to someone the least attractive they get.

Something about sticking his tongue out makes him feel naughty. And he tries so hard to be naughty or at least appear naughty. Honestly, I wouldn’t know if he’s naughty or not. He’s all I got, no one to compare to, to me he’s just a busy little Bee and that’s just the way I’d have it.