I usually don’t care about a Christmas gift but this time I bought a book and called it my Christmas present. Since babies are all different and the same baby could be a different person as a toddler. I learn from looking, from my neighbors or a play date and say; Note-to-self, on Do’s and Avoid’s. And this book is a treasure trove of experience from numerous parents. I highly recommend.

A dash of Hollywood & whole lot of Bollywood, that’s one way to describe the toddlerhood we’re stuck in.

How can I describe this phase in the best way without sounding like I’m torturing my toddler ? Is it weird I’m already having disagreements with my toddler. Oh gosh ! I mean he’s having disagreements with me. Since when does he have a say in decisions! He even has an opinion on which guitar his father should play for him. Semi-acoustic is trending this week.

I would laugh under my breath at those stressed parents who would explain everything to their child. I’d think, he’s/ she’s a child how much could they care.

But they do care ! They really do. It’s trivial to us but to Josef he’s observing so much. Not only our words but also our body language. A careless grunt or a thoughtless shrug of the shoulders, he feels it all. And will tell us he noticed it.

A few evenings ago at dinner, Josef dropped his plate which probably had just a spoon of rice left. I said, Oh oh! (it’s something we usually say, he does too when something is accidentally dropped.) I might have taken a breath too deep or sighed a bit louder than usual as I picked the plate. He noticed, kept hitting his head, beating his hands to the table and was so disappointed with himself. He had a meltdown and it took us a while to convince him it was ok and that it was only an accident.

These melt downs are happening more often than I am ready for. Back in the day my mother would have probably just stared down at me or shown me a stick and said, there’d be consequences to bad behavior. And that worked like a charm. Having met the stick my fair share; well deserved I might add, my mother did it so well and efficiently. I was a naughty kid and I’m not anymore (Kevin disagrees)! I referred to this as the Watermelon v. The Lemon.

But times are different now. I’m in Germany where talking louder than your soundproof windows is worth a stare and conversation with a child are a level of diplomacy, I don’t yet understand. My impression of diplomacy as teenager was funny.

A quick back story: My only aunt and her family lived in Doha and they’d visit around Christmas. And her daughters were darlings, unlike the mischief that I brought along. One day, the girls were up to some play and absolutely tested my aunt’s patience and she was a No-Spanking-kinda mum and her guilefully threatening her daughters, “You are lucky I’m not like Judy Aunty (aka my mum and reference to the stick) resonated with me. That I thought was diplomacy. While this trick would never fly with a kid like me, it got my cousins (who had never met the stiff friend) to behave.

So I have a long way to go and find my very own mum conundrums. For all other constructive creativity I got my new favorite book.

On weekends, we take a trip to Daddy town.

Every Saturday, I let myself stay in bed for 10 more minutes that conveniently stretches to an hour’s slumber. During the day I even step out, leaving the boys to make merry. There’s many comforts to this practice, for all parties involved. Also a weekend special is that, diaper duties falls on daddy.

On a separate note I feel, the one on one time or alone time with the little one is too precious to not share, especially with daddy.

He behaves so differently in my absence. And I love it. It allows both of them to grow. Pushing each others boundaries and testing the other’s patience.

On Saturdays I do what I love. Walk around our Saturday farmers market and general Shopping! Shopping to me is hopping between stores/options. For example I’m looking for a winter wardrobe for Sef, one store has better sweaters and other has better pants. There’s so many stores to choose from! It’s safe to say, most of my Saturday went in shop hopping.

Kevin is more of a playmate than a parent in the eyes of Sef (atleast for now), all the fooling around is limitless. And there’s always a, “Jo when he grows up you’ve got to remind me he did this”

Although, this practice is almost always in my favor and not so much in Kevin’s, it’s still something he looks forward to. A shift in roles for a day can be surprisingly relaxing.

And Surprises are nice, whenever Kev shops at the farmers market he brings me flowers or something small that surprises me. Previous Saturday, I got him flowers and this Saturday I wanted to bring back something. I found homemade sesame balls (we don’t have a diverse restaurant/ fun menu selections here) so I grabbed the last 3 they had. I thought he would love it. First thing home, I let him take a bite and then I take a tiny bite.

Nope ! I am not a fan of sticky nor doughy. Would you believe it if I said, he doesn’t fancy sesame balls? He ate it just to make me happy and I ate, to do the same. We learnt a new thing about each other. That’s rare these days. What a laugh we had. I feel like we are doing just that as parents. Discovering ourselves and laughing at ourselves more often than I’d like to admit.

Some parents have such fun and creative schedules. One day I’d like to be those parents, for now it’s sticky and doughy but it work.

Oh lord ! Josef is at a “Simon says” phase.

He will walk like us, even sit holding his hand under his chin! Open kitchen drawers and look busy, I can’t make up my mind if it’s so damn cute or just annoying.

Troublesome 2’s are afar but I guess this is us growing into them. Sometimes I’m giving this too much thought. All reading books, blogs and researching online can do that. And other times, I feel I don’t know enough, like I haven’t read sufficiently on topics.

This, is me, a business major currently a mum giving my non-expert opinion. “Toddlers are so little yet they’re exploding with thoughts.” That’s it. My opinion.

Mine, hasn’t even started talking (anything I understand). He’s constantly narrating stories in babble. He pulls an unopened pack of diapers to the center of the room. He stands on it and in a loud voice babbles to his toy audience. Signs of an Orator, Politician or Priest? Your guess is as good as mine !

My pediatrician says, kids from 1 to 3 learn so much more than any other time in their life, The learning curve. I personally feel, what he understands now, it probably shapes his personality and the way he behaves in future; epigenetic for example. When I said I was going to make a difference in the world, this is probably what I meant: Raising a genuinely good human being. So he can be comfort to anyone he is with. Someone, you can depend on.

That’s put an immense pressure on first time parents. Partly, I’m overthinking. But realistically when ‘Sef has just my husband, Kevin & I for socializing, there’s that added weight. A toddler can be very time & energy consuming, exhausting. Though he is a darling, he is bubbling with energy no match to mine or the patience of his dada.

There is energy of a Tiger packed away in a little human, it just doesn’t match the size. There is oodles and oodles going-on in his head. His face is so expressive, I can see the wheels go on in his head. There’s a constant state of business.

Getting from point A to B can be so difficult because there’s so much to see and touch on the way. Kevin thinks, he’s distracted so easily. I wonder, but really is he, distracted? Or is his mind running 100 times faster than mine. That he can touch, process and move on to the next toy, all on his way to point B. I’m calling it the sponge phase.

Since we’ve a Sponge situation, we decided to make the best of it. From 9 to 5, ‘Sef and I do all sorts of fun learning activities; Kevin will play the guitar and sing as ‘Sef dances, there is play time with pots, pans and kitchen drawers, while we cook dinner and dinner time. (A quick update he now has 18 teeth)

About two years ago, I tried Escargot in Warsaw, it took me back 23 years, relishing kongé (the Escargot of Mangalore) my grandma cooked that we picked from a field. The contrast of the ambiance is ridiculous but the memory was so very satisfying. Those are traces I still cherish. I’m sure you have similar foods that take you back in time.

Food of different textures and ingredients are always a fun experience. Now that he’s got molars, we try introducing different cuisines to ‘Sef. Although the expressions on his face are hysterical, Who knows what traces it’ll leave behind ?