The pandemic has been hard on all of us, having to curb socializing has been the hardest part of it. More importantly we’ve come to realize that social media isn’t as exciting when we’re all home bound. Working from home has also been extremely stressful, where does one draw a line and strike a work life balance ? According to a survey in April, by the Indian Psychiatric Society, showed that, of 1,685 participants, 40% were suffering from common mental health disorders, such as anxiety and depression, due to the pandemic. The numbers are far from reality, India still has a long way to go in acknowledging and addressing mental health problems in adults, and farther away for children.
I could hardly find conclusive data on early child mental health (3 to 13). However, across the globe at least 332 million children, or one in seven, have their mental health and well being at risk because of the pandemic-induced lockdowns, the UNICEF has warned. Perhaps the alarming situation is yet to come, problems aren’t over with the containment of the variants of COVID but the beginning of a new ones.
27.1% of the world population has received at least one dose of a COVID-19 vaccine, and 13.7% is fully vaccinated. This may look like a small number but it’s progress. After 2 years battling one virus the world seems hopeful. While we wait for the rest of the world to get safer, let’s talk Aftermath ! At the completion of any mission, operation or undertaking, comes a debrief. What’s our plan for this one? As a parent of course!
The debrief
Do we keep it simple and do nothing “Go with the flow” or do we “Observe & Redress ”
Most of us parents have been proactive when possible. We try our best to juggle between chores, our job and the child. I’ve moved to my parent’s farm for a few months. Allowing the kids to be isolated but not imprisoned. Indulging Josef in nature, running wild, connecting with his surrounding and befriend animals. And in a way I feel he’s benefited but there’s also times he’s fighting for attention.
Things aren’t exactly where I’d like them to be. Because kids, (a 3 year old) with lots of energy at their disposal, love to do one thing in repetition. A week later they are uninterested in that thing and need a new exciting thing to obsess about. And in the lack of, there’s a device. Devices are plenty, the TV, mumma or dada’s phone and a tablet/ laptop. I’ve observed a few problems probably caused by Lockdown and I’ve a plan of action. Fingers crossed, they’ll work. ( that’s for a future blog post)
1. Screen time
PreCovid, Josef had a total of 2 hours of screen time. Today, the TV is always running and Josef just shuttles between toys, his games (mostly Floor is lava) and the TV. To add to my stress, there’s an additional screen, the iPad has mostly educational apps and kids YouTube. My child is spending behind a screen, more time than I’d like. Apparently, there’s very little evidence or studies to show the link between screen time and harm to kids. Perhaps researchers could simply ask my mother, she has a full list of evidence connecting the 2 since I was a child.
My debrief strategy is “Out of sight- Out of mind”. That includes smaller devices without an exception, devices have to be in a designated spot where I or my husband can get them in times of need. A big screen like TV or computer simply has a time limit. Come October, when Josef starts school giving me just the perfect opportunity to execute my plan.
2. Boredom
Boredom is so important. Over the last 2 years we (parents) have been overly present in our kids lives. We have developed some sort of guilt that we aren’t doing enough. Resulting in offering endless entertainment. My child walks around the house like a little hulk when he’s bored. Looking for something to do. And finally yells, Come (insert person), come on let’s play.
As a child I was always bored and my mother would sternly respond, “That word doesn’t exist”. Looking back I realized, that boredom was felt even though it did not exist and I just had to be creative in finding entertainment around me. I simply had no other choice. Thank god for the boredom, I’d draw, narrate made up stories to my dolls and observed bugs and plants. I cherish those memories.
My debrief is A treasure box of props, for Josef to find inspiration and make his own world of imagination. He loves anything Halloween and will talk hours on characters. Since he’s so little, he’d need initial help, handmade masks, costumes and a kids full size mirror. Then there’s long walks and a rock collection. These should be a good start.
3. Clingy/ Shy child:
This is a direct affect of Lockdown. Josef is so awkward around guests and new faces. He will go to kneeling and then curling on the floor. Some guests are so sweet they’d kneel too while speaking to him. And he’ll probably warm up a minute after. However, Shy is simply coming in the way and hindering his interaction.
My debrief, (hopefully the world is a little more vaccinated) take him to parks with kids, make Momie friends and organization play dates. Kindergarten is definitely going to help. However with interacting with adults in a room, I believe in giving him space and time, that’s my priority but I will offer him ample opportunity to open up.
4. Nap time routine
Only a few months ago Josef was a happy Napper. Now he goes in happy and come out whinny. In his case, it’s the lack of stimulation. Even though he has a lot he can do. He is a kid who loves to jump, run and climb. He will run in circles or from corner to corner and do it as fast as he can for 4 days and on the 5th day he suddenly finds it absolutely ridiculous. Then he finds a new game. Until that isn’t interesting. After 3 months, now he’s got no excitement to wake up and go outdoors. He believes he has ventured every inch of the house and around.
The debrief – Look, listen, what do you hear? what’s the story?. There’s endless questions to pose and an occasional contribution to save a derailing story. Observe noises and guess what they are. He thought a funny sounding cow was an elephant trumpeting its way through the farm. Another day, he heard a howling dog and said it was a wolf. He saw trees shaking in the wind and spotted zombies at a distance. He’s see airplanes and kites. Make stories of them going missing. This has not only helped him channel his energy into something productive and helps him pick up his mood swings but also makes for good entertainment for everyone around.
It’s been a difficult year and the kids hear and listen to everyone at home at all times. When we are stressed it gets passed on to them as well, just like smoking passive stress is still just as bad as stress. Josef isn’t aware of it but it’s my job to watch out for signs as and when they show up.
What have you noticed in your kids? What are your debriefs? I’d love to know.
He’s a few pictures of Josef with his best friends.
Reference
My Ugly Journal 