I thought if I did enough reading and research, I’d be more prepared to get a grip of being a Momie. My gynecologist had once told me that for a baby, schedule is everything. I understood babies are mostly alike but can be immaculately different and infants all need the same number of naps a day but the trick to putting them down for a nap may differ.

I worked a couple of different techniques and I learned quickly that the easier techniques are not necessarily the best habits for the baby. Often I was so worn out from feeding schedules and interrupted sleep, I was tempted to favor easier methods.

First I worked on a schedule, one that was written on a dry erase board (one in each room so I’m on track) and one that was reasonably functional. Now all I had to do was stick to it, however challenging. This schedule mostly dealt with simpler feed and nap times. It got complex with time, I tried to incorporate play and some learning.

The most difficult of all was the bed & nap times. I was a zombie walking around the house myself, with no sense of time, finding a sleep pattern for the baby was easier said than done. With some help there was a timetable. A monochrome picture of sleeps and feeds.

Oh my absolute favorite of the schedule was body to body. It was supposed to make Josef feel loved, secure and send a boost of oxytocin through his little body. In just a couple of days, I was addicted to body to body. It gave me some sort of satisfaction, made me calm and peaceful on the whole.

Sleep Rituals have irked me and it still does ! It’s been 15 months and you’d think I’m rolling with it but it’s still a whirlwind in my home between 19:00 and 20:00. Well, every mum has shortcomings and this qualifies as mine.

Throughout my pregnancy I’d have ups and downs. Some days superfluity of emotions. A calming song was my one single winning trick to bounce back. Depending on the sadness I’d have a comparable singer. The top tier had Queens, Eagles and Adam Levine. Darker moods required Alan Jackson, Sara Bareilles or Jim Reeves !

And I was pleasantly surprised when a new born Josef was calmed by one of my calming songs. I hadn’t thought much of it, until our very first sleep regression. I still blearily recall that day when he cried desperately for the first time. He had just turned 4 months a week ago and would burst into an inconsolable cry. I was frazzled! And out of last resort I tried my calming song, which happened to be ‘Remember when’ by Alan Jackson. And if you heard Remember when, play in loop at the Goveas’; that meant, we’re having a meltdown.

It amazes me, how an infant can recall music or soundS heard in the womb and be comforted by it even months after birth. However, it’s been a blissful 8 months since I last played Alan Jackson as a therapeutic measure.

Well, the last time it played for pleasure, I forgot to turn off the loop and dozed off, in a car with 5 other family members. It would’ve played 25 times before someone woke me up ! It’s safe to say that lil ‘sef and I were sound asleep but we might have ruined Alan Jackson for the rest of them.

There’s so much I look forward to teaching my baby but some things I want him to learn by himself. But first, everything has to be baby proofed ! EVERYTHING! Promote independence that’s so very important, however do your prep before hand. Create a safe hazard free environment.

There are a couple of awesome traits that follow an independent child. These are my observations on Josef. Some Pro’s for you, like I say, if it worked for me it might work for you too.

1. Grown more confident: He was a very shy baby, I’d have to give him a nudge to play with new toys, especially with new people. Ever since I’ve let him do little things that his father or I would do, he’s like a bolder child. No nudges needed. Like moving or attempting to move a shopping bag from the front door to the kitchen. Plus it’s adorable the effort he puts in.
2. Less or no fuss at all: He’s willing to try more things/tasks without a fuss for example, cleaning the fridge magnets from the floor, I would make him feel like he’s helping me put them away.
3. More conscious: He’s so much more conscious of his environment since he’s taken charge of his little chores. For example, he has an elephant to sleep on while he drinks his milk, eventually I asked him to bring me the bottle to the kitchen and hand it to me. He has more stability on his feet and would march all over his toys but would dodge them to get the bottle safely to me.

More importantly, He loves to give a helping hand and it makes him feel special. On completing these tasks he feels like the king of the world. I see them as his little achievements and I throw in my dramatic Wow !!! Oh the joy on his face is just a perfect sight of motherhood done right. Well honestly I have nightmares of tantrums. The thought of an independent and self confident baby is simply satisfying.

What did I learn out of this? Patience! A whole lot of it. It’s weeks of just perfecting some tasks. Patience not just for me, but for the baby too. It can be rather frustrating. Imagine trying to change the channel and every attempt leads to failure – the remote slips (for the eleventh time) or you go too close or too far and accidentally turn the damn contraption off. It’s complicated but double the time and patience and you’re Golden, that’s the key.

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

However, if it’s just too frustrating, then he’s not ready. I know he’s frustrated, when the cry sounds particularly “annoyed”. Then I call it quits and maybe we can revisit that task in a couple weeks or in a month.